Revenge against the traitor
by Vampirekitty lives on mateee
Summary: The cullens are crazy and bent on revenge. When small family disputes uncover small embarrasing secrets, revenge is on everyones mind. When a small sibling arguement uncovers 3 embarrasing secrets in a very, very short amount of time, the mischief starts!
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors note: This is my first fanfic so it may be a little sucky but if you like it please review or if you hate it review me as well just don't be 2 mean, tell me what I can do to make it better. If you want me to continue it please tell me oh and sorry bout all the dialog.**_

Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga or the characters. =(

EPOV

"Give it back! Give it back! Emmett this is not fair!" Alice whined.

"No way you aren't getting this back yet!" Emmett was holding up some of Alice's secret skanky lingerie. It was red and very, VERY revealing, let's just leave it at that.

"Oh man that is wrong! Emmett dude I did not need to know that!"

"What is it Eddles?" Rosalie thankfully distracted me from Emmett's thoughts. Oh why oh why did my brother have to be a crazy, mental cross dresser? Why couldn't he be more like me? Handsome, sexy, fast, strong, musical, just to name a few.

"Well Rosalie, Obviously you see the scenario, Emmett has stolen some of Alice's *_cough cough_* underwear"

"It's Lingerie Edward"

"Whatever Rose. But you don't know half the story, while Emmett was teasing Alice with the item, a stray thought slipped through. Emmett was _actually_ going to take it upstairs and try it on and I really didn't want to hear the rest so I uh, 'tuned out'"

"Emmett you are so dead!! If you even think about trying that on or keeping it for that matter then you wi…" Alice was cut short by Rosalie.

"Ew Emmett did you expect to get in BED with me wearing that?!"

"Um, well Rosie, are you sure you wouldn't like it?"

"Oh Nah. OF COURSE I'M SURE!!!"

"Excuse me," Carlisle had just walked into the room, "What is all this nonsenAAHHHH EMMETT WHAT THE FRANK ARE YOU DOING?!!"

Oh boy now Emmett's trying to eat Alice's lingerie, hmm I wonder what his thinking?

_Yum tastes like fried chicken *drool* I love fried chicken…Wait have I eaten fried chicken before? Oh well. Mmmm food.._

Ahhh Emmett really is mental argh bad thing bad thing!!

I wonder what I can do today. I know the mall!!!

_At the mall_

Woo hoo where shall I go, I know, Faceplace!!

Faceplace is an AWSEOME beauty store, BOO YEAH!!! I must try some of that 'guyliner' or what ever it's called. Now where is it…Ah ha!!! Here it is, now to put it on. Aah my eye! Wait no it's ok. Oh my god I look soo sexy!! I must get some. Now now now!!! I think 10 sticks of it will do.

"Surprise Eddy-Weddy!!"

Damn I forgot about Alice!

"Yes I know you have figured out that I saw you go here in a vision and now I have caught you red handed ha ha ha ha ha!! I'm going to go tell everyone now!"

"Alice you wouldn't dare,"

"Oh yes I would! Bye Eddy-Weddy!!"

"YOU ARE DEAD!!!"

_At home…_

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Edward you are SO BUSTED!!!"

Damn, Esme even found out.

"Mom I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it thanks,"

"It's ok Edward I just had a little outburst."

"Thanks Esme."

"Hey Edward! Whats that on your eyes?"

Rosalie, you suck!

"Rosalie, you suck!"

"It looks serious, did you and the mutt get in a fight, I always knew it would happen,"

"Piss of Rosalie!!! I'm going to my room, no one disturb me!"

"Edward, are you going to wash it off or put more on? *snicker*"

"BANG!!!"

Damn, I shouldn't of slammed my door, now i need a new one. This is my lucky day.  
Oh well, if I have to suffer, so do they!!! Mwahh ha ha!!! Hmm, who to get revenge on first....

JPOV

One, two, three, four now swing round the pole Jasper oh yea you nailed it! I am so going to win this year's pole dancing competition! Every time the family goes hunting or shopping or whatever I practice my VERY sexy pole dancing routine. First, I put my legs around it and swing till I'm nearly touching the ground then I dance around it and do some more swinging and dancing all the while looking H-O-T hot! I haven't tried my costume on yet but I have seen it!  
It is a black leotard with a pink stripe of glitter and a red stripe of glitter diagonally down the middle on the front. On the Back it says in silver glitter my name. Jasper, Jasper the pole dancing god. I bet winning will smell sweet, mmm…Success.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: Hiya. At the present time I have only got 1 review 4 my story so if you like it please review because I feel special when I get reviews and I will be inspired to keep going with the story if people like it.**

**Luv yall.**

APOV

Sometimes I wonder what Jasper is doing when we go hunting, he chooses to stay behind sometimes so he learns more self control but I wonder what he does. When we come back he's normally playing guitar hero on xbox 360 but I often wonder if that's all he does. I know he is my partner and I should trust him, its not that I don't its just –this may sound stupid- but I wonder if he might have a secret life. Then again I have no idea how he would manage a secret life with Edward and me around so I guess there's nothing to worry about. I am so angry! I can't believe that Emmett went through my stuff and stole some of my very, VERY 'private' lingerie. Oh yea, and the fact that he held it up in front of nearly everyone and then started trying to eat it. Hmph he is so evil, I must get him back! But how? OMG I have just figured out a perfect idea!

_Half an hour later…_

I have now planted a tiny camera in Emmett and Rosalie's room, it is hooked up to my laptop which is on my lap and I am in my wardrobe. All I have to do now is wait for Emmett to do something stupid and BANG! He's a goner. Aha! Target is in the room, now to discover what he does when no-ones around (or so he thinks). Right now he is WHAT THE FUDGE?!?!?!?!? Emmett has gotten one of Rosalie's skimpy dresses that they both love and has squeezed into it. How he does it I will never know. Screw that, I'll figure it out someday.

Ew! I so would hate to be Rosalie right now, she is completely oblivious to the fact that Emmett uses her make-up, well favourite red lipstick at least. So Emmett is wearing a bright red mini-dress with bright red lipstick, I'm finding it very hard to not laugh because if I'm discovered I'll be SOO deceased.

"Yes!" Shite I so didn't mean to whisper that out loud, but at least I got the shot I wanted. Now for step 2…

_2 hours later…_

EMPOV

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bellows of laughter were all around, shaking the house, the cars, the trees, the ground, sadly all the laughter was directed at me. Alice is a bitch, after today I probably wont talk to her ever again.

"Hey guys, Emmett, what's so funny?" Alice was giggled, as if she didn't know, after all it was her that did it.

"ALICE YOU STUPID COW WHY THE F*CK DID YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU SUCK!!!!!!!" I bellowed, even louder then the laughter. Alice had somehow gotten a picture of me in Rosalie's clothes and make-up from this afternoon and printed out a humungous 3m by 4m poster of it, stuck it on a billboard just as big and planted the billboard right outside our house.

"Emmett when I stop finding this amusing I am going to seriously injure you, SERIOUSLY INJURE you!!!"

"Rose-baby I'm so sorry I was just messing around, I was bored and I don't know what came over me, I really don't."

Edward stopped Rose from interrupting by calling out himself,

"I wonder what did come over you Emmett, was it the gay cloud?"

"Shut your mouth Edward before I shut it for you!"

"Calm down Emmett, it was just a joke I mean come on!"

I hadn't noticed that Bella was here until she spoke,

"Don't worry Emmett it's ok, I mean it could have been worse, it could have been a picture of you naked, that would've been bad for us all. Let's just go inside."

"Sure Bella," I managed to get out, "Don't think I'll forget this Alice! Not in this lifetime, or the next or the next or everyone after that!"

"Emmett, you went into my wardrobe, stole my private lingerie, held it up in front of everyone and THEN tried to eat it! All this is is payback. Think about it, at least I didn't put it up in the middle of town and included your name ok."

"Whatever"

RPOV

Shit Emmett, what the fudge did he think he was doing?

Some one better do something about this. I feel a trend coming on, next time someone does something bad to me I will get revenge just like Alice did and Emmett did. Watch out biatches, here some Rosalie!!!

*_cue evil laugh*_


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: Well I'm sorry if these chapters r a bit short but I have no ideas atm.  
****Review if ya luv me =D or not, either way I don't mind.  
****This chapter is a bit more serious then the rest I think. Maybe.**

BPOV

"I don't know why you guys all have to get revenge for something anyway. How do you figure out who to get revenge on so it isn't someone that's already been served or what because if someone does something to you and you get revenge then they get revenge back on you it will only be the 2 people revenging against each other"

"Bella I really have no idea what you're talking about, you know that right?"

Aaahh, my personal god. My moon amongst the stars, the biggest by far, and the most important in my sky. The outside as intriguing and dazzling as how you'd imagine the inside would be. I was one of they lucky (if not the luckiest) people that got to have a taste of what's inside my Edward. I have a chance to see into his soul, once I get past all the dazzling and magnificent essence clouding my way.

Edward's musical voice made me forget my fantasies and snap back into reality.

"Bella? Bella?"

"hehe whoops, sorry. Yeah you were saying?"

"I was saying, Bella it doesn't matter, we are vampires and very smart with decades of practice doing things like that. We will figure it out sometime. See I'd get revenge in Alice for telling everyone about my eyeliner parade .."

"WHAT eyeliner parade?"

"Well uh I went and bought ten sticks of eyeliner cos it looks cool and sexy on me.."

"OhKay…So why aren't you wearing it?"

"Well Rosalie started teasing me so I haven't put it on since. Alice came and ambushed me in the shop and went home and told everyone so therefore I'd get payback on Alice but Emmett already did the incident with the lingerie so now I will get revenge on Rosalie cos she gave me the worst time out of everyone."

"So who will Rosalie get revenge on?"

"Sshh."

I realised why he shushed me, I hadn't realised before that we were quite close to his house and they'd probably be able to hear me in a couple of metres. I loved visiting Edward's house. It was so clean and spacious, every thing was placed perfectly. It was so different to our small only-slightly cramped home. I sighed, I would give anything to be apart of that household. Not only because of the beautiful house either. I wanted to join Edward in his immortal life. I wanted to be a vampire.

It was getting easier for me to say vampire out loud now, I remember when I would have to say 'one of you' and how all the Cullens were perfectly comfortable with it but it always felt awkward for me to say. We were at the house now, Edward lifted me up the porch steps and pulled me into a loving embrace. I stretched up to plant my lips on his, my mind forgetting everything except Edward. Like always, as he pulled away too soon, I stretched up to make it last as long as possible. To my surprise, Edward leaned beck down continuing our kiss instead of pulling back. Just before I would have had to pull away for breath, Edward did with an yelp, then hissed a complaint at Emmett.

"Jeezus Emmett what the hell?"

"I was just wondering if you two were going to stay there lip locked all day –or until Bella passes out- or actually come inside,"

"You could of asked, or at least sent me some brain waves instead of pegging a baseball at me man!"

"Oh well, whats done is done." He chuckled.

Edward curled himself out of our embrace, leaving my hand in his. That was how we normally walked.  
It seemed that everyone was nearly over the picture of Emmett on the billboard situation but as I'm not Edward, I couldn't know for sure.  
"Argh!" I gasped and jumped backwards. My shiny silver mobile phone (courtesy of Edward) that I was reluctent to use was ringing and vibrating. I got it out of my pocket to check the caller-ID. "Crap" I muttered, (of course they'd all be able to hear me. Everyone gave me a curious look. "It's just Jess, don't worry" i told them honestly and sighed. They all understood at once. I picked up grimacing,

"Hey Jess, whats up?"

"Nothing. OMG guess what?!"

"What?" I tried to sound excited but I expect she saw through it. If she did, she was too hyped up to notice,

"I went on a date with Mike!"

"Ooooh, what happened?" hehehe she was completely oblivious to that fact that I wasn't the only one listining in.

"Well, we went to an early movie in Port Angeles and OMG we KISSED!!!"

"Wow thats great Jess! So how was it? What else happened?"

"It was great, a litle slushy but ok. After that we went to a nice restuarant to eat, then went home. i'll tell you more about it in trig ok."

"Sure,"

"So how are you an Edward?"

"Um, fine, I guess,"

"What do you mean 'I guess'?"

"Um yea, were ok, why?"

"No reason *heheh* Oh well cya I really gotta go. Talk in trig ok."

"Sure Jess, Bye." I replied and hung up.  
Alice, Rosalie and Jasper snickered and I sighed. God Jess has such a big mouth, holy cow. Edward looked as if he was thinking the same thing.  
Of course neither of us knew what the other was thinking, but, I think we had a pretty good idea.

"Bella its time for your make over!" Alice chimed.

"Grr" I growled and reluctantly followed her and Rosalie u the stairs.

*****

EPOV

Time for my revenge against Rosalie plan to start. i figured that she'd get pretty mad if I put purple hair dye in her shampoo (wash out of course, I'm not that mean, but of course she wont know its wash out). it seems kinda strange for vampires to shower but we do get dirty after hunting and stuff, well, at least Emmett does.  
_Back from the shop..._  
I'm amazed Alice still isn't finished with Bella, I went to the shop and back at least 10 minutes after she started on her. When I'm finished with the hair dye I'll tell Alice to hurry if she doesn't want Charlie around here looking for her.

_20 minutes later..._

I never knew hair dye and shampoo were so messy, it got all over my hands. Alice is finally finished with Bella and she looks amazing, as per usual. Why on earth did she hace to be so sexy? How could a man resist? I tell you now, I certainly have a hard time resisting.

*******************************

**Authors note: I told you it was a bit more serious then all the others but at least I got some revenge in there lol**

**=) =D =P XD**


	4. Authors Note

**A/N I have been meaning 2 update I really have but I just started high school and I have been busy. I want 2 know whether I'm wasting my time but I will write at least a couple more chapters so 2morro and the next day I'll write at least 1 or more chapters so please be patient with me. =)**

**Stay with me. Please.**

**Xxx**

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	5. Chapter 4

**A/N. Yay two other people reviewed I feel so special!  
****So in this chapter we will have Rosalie chucking a skitzo over what Edward did. In this chapter they start getting revenge over things that happened like nearly decades ago that they haven't gotten them back 4. **

**-_-**

RPOV

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
I screamed at the top of my lungs. I looked in the mirror again, and screamed, again.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I can hear heavy footsteps, it'll be Emmett coming to see if I'm ok I bet.

"Rose baby?"

Told you so

"Rose baby are you ok??"

"NO Emmett I am not f**king ok, OK!!!"

"What happened?"

This time I was sobbing tearless sobs, "M-my h-ha-hair E-Emmett,"

He came in, as I expected.

He paused in the door way, shocked.

"Oh Rose, it's not that bad."

My voice immediately changed from sobbing to yelling, "My hair is PURPLE Emmett, FRICKIN PURPLE!!!!!!!!"

I heard snickers from downstairs. I peeked into the mirror again. Oh no, it's worse then I thought it was before.  
The hair dye had been thorough.

"Emmett, because of how well the hair dye worked, I'm guesssing its permanent!!"

"Um, what does that mean?"

Jeezus he was dumb.

"It means Emmett, that it will never go away unles it grows out, WHICH IT WONT!!!"

"Oh Rose I'm so sorry. Lets just go down stairs ok."

"So they can laugh at me ay?"

"NO! If anyone gives you a hard time they will have me to answer to."

"Well, I guess it's ok then."

As we were walking downstairs, I heard them all stop talking and pause with anticipation.  
I thought it was ok when by the time I had hit the last stair they hadn't laughed yet. Well that hope was crushed after half a second of silence.

Bella was laughing loudly but cringing away from Rosalie's glare into Edward's side. Alice's wind chime voice was giggling loudly and incontrollably, Esme was trying very hard to stop the small bursts of laughter from breaking through, Carlisle was snickering, half way hidden behind the doorway and Jasper and Edward were roaring louder then Emmett normally does (a/n jeez!!!). Jasper was laughing so loud because 1) It was hilarious. 2) It was Rosalie. 3) He was a guy and 4) Because he could feel all of their hysterics filling the room, making it hard for him to feel any other emotion even if he wanted to (which he didn't). Edward was laughing so loud because 1) The first 3 of Jaspers reasons applied to him too and 2) Because he could hear what she was thinking. and 3) Because he was responsible for it and it worked perfectly and was a legendary payback. (Even though it might have been a bit over the top compared to what she did to him, but you know Edward, he overreacts aLOT)

"AAAAaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
I screamed and then stormed out. All I could see was red. In a fit of rage I ran to my beautiful car and sped of to Port Angeles.

_In the house_...

3rd person POV

"OmFg that was freakin' hilarious!" Bella managed to choke out.

"Agreed!" said the rest of the Cullens in unison (apart from Rosale, obviously).

Jasper snickered, "I wonder how long it takes her to figure out that shes got purple hair and is going out in public,"

With that remark, the hysterical laughter started again.

_Port Angeles..._

RPOV

I got out of my car and started walking briskly to the best clothes shop in Port Angeles. I was going to buy the most expensive outfit and the most expensive shirt, skirt, jeans, dress and jewelery in the shop. Well as long as they were in my size and weren't hidiously ugly. Actually, even if they were, I would just cut them up and make something with the material.  
As I stepped into the busy shop, everone started staring at me, some even laughing. It was then that I reaslised why I came here in the first place. I was angry because they were laughing at my purple hair. My purple hair. My purple hair! MY PURPLE HAIR! MY FRICKIN PURPLE HAIR!!!!  
Ok, im gunna stop saying that in my mind now. I looked around then turned and ran at human pace, back to my car and sped off.  
When I came home everyone was happy and smiling. I stepped up to the front porch and Alice opened the door for me. I just stood there, looking at her. Well, _glaring_ might be a better word.

"Hey Rosalie, you're back so soon, why's that?" she grinned at me.

I didn't answer, just kept glaring. I was trying to calm down. But when Alice started snickereing it pushed me over the edge.  
I growled and pushed past her slamming the door, causing it to break into pieces and fly off the porch.  
They had all gathered in the loungeroom now and just stared at me as I ran (vampire speed this time) upstairs to my room.

I would get revenge. Who was laughing the loudest? Who ever it was is sooo deceased now. I recalled that it was Edward and Jasper.  
Which one to get revenge on? Well Edward did do this to me so he had a reason to laugh and he wouldnt of been able to keep it in no matter how hard he tried. Neither would I, if I was him. Any way, I figured Edwards nasty trick was because of me teasing him about wearing eyeliner, (he was still to chicken to put some on after I teased him.) so, Jasper it is. I had a couple of reasons for choosing Jasper, 1) because he should've been able to hold it in. 2) he never gets picked on, he's always on the outside. 3) because he was laughing nearly as loud as Edward.

4) because he did some thing to me 11 years, 7 months and 28 days ago to me that I haven't forgotten OR forgiven him for yet. Something horribly dreadful and nasty. Sure they were all in on it but he convinced them to follow HIS plan.

It was February the 3rd and it was a sunny day and we were all at home (it was weekend aswell as sunny). We were all out in our baseball clearing (even Bella) doing our own thing................

_________________________________________________________________

**A/N, Hey well I'm sorry, I should've gotten this in yesterday but I wasnt in the mood for writing and had no ideas. I'm also sorry its so short. I did warn you that they were gunna be short. I havent figured out Jaspers evil plan that he used against Rosalie but (obvoisly) its in the clearing on a sunny day and they're all theyre including Bella so if you have any ideas please tell me and I should be able to get the chapter done quicker. Also 2day is sunday so i have school 2morro so i probably wont be able to write. I will probably if I have Ideas. I will wait atleast two days for ideas if any1 wants 2 give me any at all. Unless i choose 1 that i love striaght away. So if you want to be really really nice and give me ideas then plz review and tell me. Oh I will also write in the authours note at the top a special thx 2 u. If ya dont want ur username up there tell me along with ur idea. I hope so much that u help out. I'm stuck!  
^_^**

**xx**


	6. Poem Next chapter still comin

**A/N My poem to Bella from Edward.  
I know that if Edward would have written a poem it would be heaps better and use better words but I cant do that cos im not enormously talented like him ok. I hop you like it anyway.**

If I told you I loved you would you turn around?

If I asked you to come would you stand your ground?

When we're together do you feel the bliss?

If you went away would I be the one that you'd miss?

I'm cold and hard, a monster in truth. Can we be in love at just the end of your youth?

You think you are ordinary, stop being so blind!

The average and plainness is just in your mind!

You forget everything when our lips meet. You wouldn't care if we were in the street.

I'll always stay with you when you are in strife. Heck, I'd do anything if you were in my life.

I can't live in a world where you are not there, your life is special, something that we can both share.

If you wanted to leave then forever I'd still care. I wouldn't stop you but in my heart you'd be there.

Will you share your life with me? Would you be my wife?

Anything to make you happy because I love you more then my life.

**Ok thats my poem. I am still writing the next chapter of my story so it is still coming its just I got a bit of homework I have to do ok.  
Plz review. You know you want to. Well atleast I know _I _want you to review. Lol Please I never get many reviews so I really nedd/want some.  
I will forever love yu if ya do ok lol.  
xxx**


	7. NEW CHAP FINALLY

**A/N**

**Ima guessing yu guys all hate me or sumfin cos i havent updated in like 3 months.  
Who am i kidding? theres only like 2 people reading this story. I havent had any inspiration.  
I have been having a good time recently:D Ive got some1 real special :D  
hahaah, this might not be all of what happens cos i havent started writing it at this moment.  
Ill see how it goes ok. This is difficult to write. hahaah:D lol  
please review! and if any of u guys have any twilight fanfics u want me to read just tell me and i will and i will review  
please review!!!!!!  
xOxO XoXo  
Ok ps i just realised that I said Bella was there but it was like 11 years ago so ok Bella was _not_ there.**

**SORRY about all the dialog, it will end :D  
**

****

Disclaimer: I dont own twilight, or the characters D: i wish i did but all the credit goes to the ingenius Stephenie Meyer.

JPOV

_that bright sunny day in the clearing...._

Today is great.  
Today I'm going to play a prank on Rosalie for no particular reason.  
It's going to work.  
And It's going to be great!

Today the family has travelled down to our old old home, Forks.  
Well not really Forks but a super brilliant clearing. We call it the baseball clearing because its where we used to play baseball whenthere were thunderstorms:D

It sunny, we're together  
and rosalie is going to get OWNED.

"Alright everyone, family meeting in the middle!" Carlisle boomed.

At once all of our family were standing in the middle in a group.

"What is our plan of attack for the day?" Carlisle started..

"Well," I started, "Why don't we just do whatever?"

"Sure sure but I do have a special request.."

"Yes Carlisle??" I asked warily..

"Lets film some things!"

"Why?" we all asked in confusion

"Because we CAN!" *cue carlisle's evil laugh*

"Well, ok then."

Carlisle gave us all video cameras, nice ones too. I had an idea on how to OWN Rosalie.

"Hey Rosalie?!" I called "Come over here can ya darl'?"

"Sure sure?"

"I'm going to teach you some french ok Rose, Can you repeat after me when I give you the thumbs up?" I told her

"Ok then?"

" *says 'My name is Rose, and I live in a cardboard box' in french* " I said and gave Rose the thumbs up as I pressed record on the vid-cam.

" *says 'My name is Rose, and I live in a cardboard box' in french* " Rose said and smiled, I pressed pause on the vid-cam, just before Rose spoke.

"OK Jasper, what does that mean?"

"It means, My Name is Rose and I'm so very beautiful" I chuckled..

"OK Jasper, can you please teach me to say, 'my name is rose, what is your name?"

"Sure sure, thats 'Je Mappelle Rose, Comment t'appelles-tu?"

"ok cool, anything else you want me to repeat?"

"Yep, just *says 'Welcome to players strip bar! I am new and I welcome you to come to my show, i'll give you a good time' in french *"

"Ok? *says 'Welcome to players strip bar! I am new and I welcome you to come to my show, i'll give you a good time' in french * " Rosalie cooed.

I got that on video too, then stopped it.

The rest of the day carried on normally, and uneventfully.  
As soon as we got home I went for a drive to channel 5's TV studio.

_Next moring......_

Esme POV

I was getting ready for the day when jasper called down to us all, notifying us about how he had heard that something good was going to be on tv very very shortly. I finished getting ready and when I got down stairs, the reast of my family were perched in front of the tv as I was going to do.  
It was a news update, the lady on tv told us that she would tell us more about the story on teen drinking after the break.  
An ad for wisha washing powder came on, then after that, the shock of the year!

It was an ad for Players Strip club, it went like this

It had pictures of pole dancers and exotic dancers on tables and stages all over the joint  
Then, a picture of ROSALIE came up on the screen ROSALIE!!!!

She was talking in french but it had captions underneath.  
It went,

"My name is Rosalie and I live in a card board box, Welcome to players strip bar! I am new and I welcome you to come to my show, i'll give you a good time!"

As soon as we all got over the shock (by that time, the ad had ended) laughter filled the room, the house, the yard and about a mile down the road.

"JASPER HALE YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rosalie screeched at the top of her lungs, that shut us all up.

"Hey rosalie, chill, its all ok :D" Jasper said calmly but im guessin it was an act.

Rosalie started again, "Jasper Hale, you are dead! you better learn how to sleep with your eyes open!"

"But Rose, We dont sleep" Jasper tried.

"THATS NOT THE POINT!!!" Rosalie screamed as she threw a vase through two walls.

"Calm Rose, just a joke" By this time, jasper looked as though he had or was going to crap his pants if that was possible.

"Jasper Hale, The moment you shut your eyes, even for a second, your head is going to get detached from your body and land in a meat grinder!!!"

_Back to present day..._

JasperPOV

It turns out Im still alive, Rosalie forgot about it the next day when she found a dress she fell in love with.

RoPOV

That was the day I started holding a grudge against almost everyone.

I will never forget the embarrasment.

I will never forget how much I suffered.

And Jasper will never forget the day I get my revenge.......

**A/N ok, I reviewed, theres alot of dialog, im really sorry about that, i didnt give yu guys much.**

**I hope you still enjoy it anyway, please:D**

**Review and I will try as hard as I can to get the next chapter up asap.**

**NO REVIEWS, NO CHAPTERS.  
**


	8. chapter 6 roses revengeee

**Haha, well another reply to Twichild369, I am sooooo glad i didnt get swine flu, or die, and I guess it wouldnt be that great turning in2 a unicorn:D**

**I got 2 reviews, 2 story alerts an 2 fav stories, ok I know thats not much but THX U GUYS, Mauraoel, Jamstar4eva, Twichild369, and Tigerlily Alice.  
So thanks you guys, Im going to try and work on this and get it done so sorry if theres heaps of dialog an its really short.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight D: S.M does.  
**

CarlislePOV

_present._

Yet another revenge, funny, but.  
I should say 'Welcome to the zoo' or 'the funny farm' or 'animal kingdom' but all of those would make them sound more normal then they actually are.  
I must say, it is very amusing to see Rosalie with purple hair:D i think she might be getting to like it secretly, but i reckon she still likes blonde better:D

I'd love to have purple hair, how great would that be? i mean COME ON!! OMG!!! ESME WITH PURPLE HAIR!! OMG THAT WOULD BE SO SEXY!!

Random outburst over..for now.

xxxxxRoPovxxxxx

That was the day. Ima going to get him back sooo bad :D I have an idea, also a premonition that this revenge will be EPIC but not the way i planned.

Its time to take a visit to Players!! Carlisle and Esme are home but the rest have gone hunting, well they said they were.

_At Players..._

Its time for the important shows, I'll have to wait till they finish before I go talk to the manager, about Jasper, working there :D  
I have my video camera incase anything happens with the manager, like i have to eat him.

The first performer is coming on stage to do a 'dazzling pole dancing routine'

"And now, our first performer is our favourite on and only, JASPER HALE!!!" the man with the microphone boomed.

WTF JASPER? JASPER HALE? OUR JASPER HALE? THAT IS SOOOO WRONG! AND DISTURBING! OH SO VERY DISTURBING!!!

BUT IT MAKES FOR THE EPIC-EST REVENGE E-V-A-H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was finding it hard to believe that it was our jasper hale, but, who else could it be?

My doubts were shattered when our Jasper came on stage, in a black LEOTARD with red and silver GLITTER!!

OMFG no-one in our family has seen funny until they have seen this!  
Quick, the video camera!!

I managed to film it all, and by the time the slightly 'disturbing' rather then 'dazzling' pole dancing routine had ended I had figured out my plan,  
So, i had to take a leaf out of alices book, but her life has so many confusing pages I doubt she'd notice. That was really random, I wasnt even talking about a book, just her life, no, im not on drugs, i dont think.  
WHY HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING DRUGS IN MY FOOD?!?!?!?  
WHY HAVE I BEEN EATING FOOD?!?!  
HAVE I BEEN EATING FOOD?  
WHY DONT I KNOW THE ANSWERS?!?!  
BECAUSE SOMEONES BEEN PUTTING DRUGS IN MY FOOD!!!  
DRUGS IN MY FOOD?!?! OH NO!!!!!!!

_that carries on for another 3 hours, 28 minutes and 17 seconds._

Ah hah! Now for my ingenius plan!!!

_2 hours later..._

"Everyone come down here! its family movie time!!"

xxxxxEdPOVxxxxx

_"Everyone come down here! its family movie time!!"_

I'd read Rosalie's mind and figure out what shes planning but the bumhead has figured out how to think of something else so i cant figure it out.

xxxxxAlPOVxxxxx

_"Everyone come down here! its family movie time!!"_

Id figure out what rosalie is doing but my visions havent been working lately, STINKING WEREWOLVES!! Well, I dont know if its them, but its something alright.

xxxxxEmmPOVxxxxx

_"Everyone come down here! its family movie time!!" _

ALRIGHT! i love family movie time.

I followed the rest of my family down stairs and joined them in shock.  
On the wall, the whole massive wall, like 8m by 4m wall. was a big white sheet and across the room, was a projector.

Jeez, this was the first time Rose had shown any interest in family movie time, and she's gone all out.

We all sat down on various couches and chairs.

Thats when the movie started.

And the screaming, flinching, running, hiding, sobbing and epileptic fits, came almost at once.....................

**A/N ok, so it was short but i hope i got enough in there, i didnt have many ideas and plus ima guna git off the computer and get ready very soon:D  
Hahaah, so u can guess what the movie was! No dialog in this one, i wanted a change to last chapter where it was mostly talking. **

**I 3 yu guys that add mah story ta favs, story alert or author alert and such**

**and i also love it when you REVIEW!! 3**

**stay wit me, if yu can (that means ill be trying to stay too) and such. xoxoxo  
**

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	9. AUTHORS NOTE:

**Authors note.**

**Ok so I had this big thing explaining why I hadn't updated and...  
The damn computer froze.  
Making me have to reset the computer:(**

**On saturday morningI got this allergic reaction rash type thing all over my legs and arms which was red, itchy and sore.**

**On Sunday night I went to hospital to get treated and also to find out what it was.  
We were in the waiting room in emergency for 2 hours, (we got to the hospital at around 5:10pm).  
They took my blood pressure twice and my temperature twice.**

**Mind you this is the first time I've been to hospital since I was about 2.**

**They tried to take a blood sample from me twice. Once in the arm, once in the back of my hand. Both times they couldn't find the vein but still shoved the needle bit in anyway which HURT. Now I have a bruise on the back of my right hand.**

**Anyway they were going to keep trying but I was so stressed and I was hurting and I wanted to go home. It was 12:30am when he tried taking blood from the back of my hand. I was crying because he was like 'You have to squeeze your fist' amd I was just so tired I didn't have the strength. So they would of kept trying except mum refused to let them keep me there. It sucked.**

**The doctors also said I couldn't wear wool, that is my school jumper and my school skirt. I needed to wear my school skirt to wear my stockings to cover the nasty rash shit on my legs and I need my jumper to cover my arms.**

**So its Wednesday night now, I'm not going to school either tomorrow and haven't been all week. I'm quite happy because my friends don't care about me and aren't the nicest, I don't even really miss them.**

**The downside, I haven't seen my boyfriend since Friday:(**

**I did forget about my story too thats the main reason. SORRY!!**

**I really am. Cyuuu :) Ilyuuh ahahahhhah :).**


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